"All I want to do is grab my stuff and get some sleep.  My parents aren't so bad.  just stay and get some sleep.  Okay?  just crash and tomorrow we can catch a bus back home.  Okay?  C'mon Toni, it's silly to have Matt drive you to the apartment.  It's out of his way."
     Alex and Toni are arguing...again.  There they sit in the back of my huge Buick.  I know this scene well.  I introduced them to each other.  Poor Toni.  She's so freaked out.  She hates Alex's house.  He doesn't notice.  She's stumblin' over words, not arguing well.  If she keeps on flustering about, she'll lose the fight.
     "Hey Alex, don't worry, man.  I wanna hit the MFA tomorrow anyway, so I should stay in town tonight.  I'll drop you off in Dedham and then Toni and I will crash at your apartment.  You'll see us tomorrow."  I had to defend her.  He can be so irrational at times.  He even shot me a cold look as I spoke.  He just wants to be his odd self and sleep with Toni in his old bedroom.  It's just too much, and she knows it.
     "In any case, Alex, someone should be there to feed the cats. That's why we were going back on Saturday anyway.  Remember?"  Toni adds.  Alex grumbles.  his lip sticks out and his face flushes.  He never hides his emotions because his honesty is a cruel trick.  Toni just giggles and kisses him.  She's immune to his guilt trips.  The car turns into the parking lot driveway near the Anderson's large Victorian home, a house that Alex hardly notices and I envy.  A yellow glow from the lot lights fills the car as Alex says his good-byes and kisses Toni. Things seem OK again.
     "Oh yeah, Matt if you need a free pass to the..."
     "Don't worry, the Museum's free on Sundays.  Enjoy your breakfast with the folks, man."
     "Yeah, super delicious," he explains in a silly voice as he jogs off.  He's so bizarre and moody.  I put the car in reverse.  I can tell he's still mad at both me and Toni.  let him be.  He's so damn stupid at times, but I still love the guy.  Toni climbs over the seat as I wait to pull out into traffic.  I get her elbow in my face.  we're faced with a trip from Dedham to Boston.
     The other cars headlights annoy the hell out of me.  I think I've lost the ability to filter out light and keep night vision.  I'll probably be blind by next year.  The car stops at the light by the Stop & Shop.  I turn to Toni and she laughs.
     "I wondered when you would remember me.  I counted to 133."  She finds my oversight so funny she laughs till the light turns green.
     "Well, I've finally noticed you.  What do I get for my astute observation."
     "How about a... A CAR LIGHTER!!!!!"  She cheers and pulls out my car lighter.
     "But I don't smoke!"
     "How about a road map of Massachusetts, Massachusetts, the state with the silly name.  Bop Bop."  She sings, really giddy now.
     "No way. Then I'd know where I'm headed.  I think not.  wrong. Thank you for playing, try again."
     "Okay, who's the contestant and who's the host?"
     "I bow before your superior prizes, Miss Hostess-Person."
     "Well then, how about a dinner date with the beautiful and talented Toni Rosa, hostess of this fabulous show?"
     "Your father would kill me.  He's a very scary man, ya know?"
     "The contestant is a coward, so he has been judged to deserve the booby prize."  She feels slighted.  Did she and Alex have a bigger fight than I thought?
     "Your father would still kill me," I try to lighten the mood. "Besides, I'm too tired to figure out how to unlatch your bra."
     "Not that booby prize."  Toni scowls.  "This one: Although he's tired to the point of exhaustion, he gets an all expense paid trip to Toni and Alex's apartment.  Gas and Car not included."
     "I'm so excited.  This is what I've always wanted."
     "Oh well, if you're gonna be like that, I'm gonna turn on the radio."  She flips through the stations and finds WGBH.  It's a jazz show.  for the next few miles I drive to a screechy modern piece and Toni falls asleep.  How can she sleep to that garbage?  I glance at her.  She must be one of the most beautiful people I know.  The dark hair, the thin face, the attitude; all of her is beautiful.
     I concentrate on the road again.  I remember a time, last summer. Toni was determined to have a picnic with all her friends.  I was the only one who could make it.  She didn't care.  It was going to happen anyway.  The sky was cloudy and the grass was wet, but this picnic would go on.  And it did.  She had enough food to feed a football.  And she really hammed it up, with a calico dress and a straw hat and a wicker basket and a patchwork quilt.  It turned out to be a fine day after all and the sun came out after an hour.  We talked and ate and although it wasn't what she wanted, she seemed really happy anyway.  I remember that at the time I wanted to tell her that I loved her.  I don't know why. I never did.  Well, not really.  Not they way it should have been said. I'm a coward.  She's right.  that was before she met Alex.  Those two are really serious.
     I glance over at her again.  She's really asleep.  Time to change the channel.  Static would be better than this stuff.  Not many people on the highway at 2AM, no surprise there.  The moment I twist the dial, Toni wakes up and stretches with a yawn.
     "How long was I... Hey, don't change that.  I love GBH."
     "I can tell, you slept through the whole thing."
     "Well... good.  Excuse me."  She lays down on the huge Buick seat, fetal position, her head resting on my leg.  It reminds me of the many times I've given her a back rub.  There's an easy-trusting feeling suggested.  She looks up at me, hair flowing to the vinyl seat and eyes searching.
     "Goodnight silly boy," she sighs and then falls asleep.  I lower my right hand and stroke her hair.  She nestles to become more comfortable.  It feels like my life has momentarily stopped to allow this slice of peace.  For a moment, I stop thinking.  Everything's so smooth, but nothing's perfect.  I stop stroking.  She's asleep anyhow. I change the station to something mellow and hum to myself.  The car swallows the remaining miles.
 

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